God displayed in His mighty creation

God displayed in His mighty creation
double rainbow at my house spring 2010

Sunday, September 19, 2010

So does Fickle Rhyme with Tickle to you?

Some of you may read on and say "Well she has never been in a relationship before so she has no idea"  while the part about not being in a guy girl relationship maybe true I have and still am in relationships all the time so I do have an idea and I am a girl and this is from my girl prospective.

I want to know why is it that everytime there is a realtionship issue amongs my brothers or cousins its the girls fault.  Oh wait they are all guys! And the biggest thing I have learned with guys is they lack the ability to take responsibility.

It urks me to no end to hear words like "she was just to imature" or "being a fickle female"  "she is playing mind games" etc etc

So the girl who is the same age as this young man is the imature one?  Since when did things change and guys start maturing faster then girls?  We all know that guys mature slower.....is this their fault? No, not that I am aware of.  Its the way they were created.

Fickle huh?  I think you use that word guys just because it starts with an F and fits with female.  So you want me to start saying mature male?  In your dreams!

I take offense to those of you who have recently made it out to being "the girls fault"  You put us all down in that generalizing statement and I am just plain tired of it!

With that out of the way I will continue:
Whatever happened to good honest communication?  If you really care for someone you dont leave them in the dark (that goes for girls and guys a like!)

In this new age of texting, Facebook, Blogging, this social networking that is less social then picking up the phone, going on a date, hanging out at the beach or seeing a movie together...thats true socializing.  You think you know the person you care about?  Then spend some time work on a project together.  Be it yard cleaning for your parents, a neighbor or doing missions work, build something useful or cleaning out a junk room/closet.  DO something together.  The best way to really know someone is to see them when they dont look all put together, dont have the fancy clothes, make up, hairgel and they dont smell pretty (I live with a house of boys I know!). This seems like a "well duh" kind of thing to me but in todays day in age its extremely lacking in the realtionship building faze.

Put that communication to the test. Work through each process by talking it through, dont just expect the individual you are with (or individuals, its always fun to be with others and make a party out of work ;) ) to know what you want them to do just because it seems like the logical next step in your estimation.

Skip texting for a day -- pick up the phone to that ear and SPEAK.  I know you can, you talk into that microphone while playing PS3 or Xbox 360.  And when someone leaves you a message -- dont text a response, call them back.  Tone of voice, inflections and just the honest voice to ear conversation that will ensue is much more rewarding then a simple text left in your inbox.

We let our emotions take control of our relationships way to much.  We take offense to things said and dont make the effort to seek reconciliation because it requires humbling ourselves and dare I say appologizing for the way we treated the other individual that hurt them (intentionally or unintentionally).  Who have you reached out to today? Purposefully?  Are you really that perfect of a person that you havent hurt anyone?

NEVER get in someone else' business.  If you arent part of the problem or part of the solution dont participate!  You only make things worse by portraying your impression of the situation when relaying information.  What good does it do for the individuals involved?  The Bible says in proverbs "dont take the dog by the ears"  good way to remember not to stick your nose where it doesnt belong.  It will come back to bite you.

We have all heard the saying "its not you its me"  while that particular statement may have validity in some circomstances....if you feel the need to say it, then you obviously dont care enough for the person as you think you do.  Anyone that truly cares about you will want to know the details of how you feel inferier or what is causing the lack of communication.  And if you really care you will want that person to know too.  Hiding it away with such statements makes you look highschool drama queen and not ready for a serious relationship.  If you are doing it for attention......dont expect to get it (guys run for the hills).  Rather you might say something like "I am dealing with some issues that are not related to how I feel about you. I would love to talk to you about them so you know whats going on in my life, but I dont want to burden you with them"  This leaves the opportunity for the person to ask the questions and get to know you better and be a champion of your cause.  They will want to make you feel secure about yourself and walk alongside you in the process.  To deny them this opportunity is to tell them "you arent good enough for me"  it will drive them away instead of draw them closer as you deeply desire.

DO NOT play mind games.  Yah girls have a terrible repuation for making it hard on guys to "figure you out"  some say its playing hard to get. I say its stupidity plain and simple.  You dont want it done to you.....dont do it to them.  Guys are insecure as it is about being rejected.  We hold a lot of power girls, dont over use it.  This usually happens during the "early stages" of a relationship but can surface later too if the girl is having second thoughts about her commitment.  Its a natural response but one that needs to be overcome so that a proper foundation can be created.  One built on trust and communication not on fickle emotions that are fleeting.

So while I take offense ..... guys do have a point.  We girls need to rise up and change the tied if we ever want to be know less as fickle females and more as stable individuals worthy of being persued.  Who am I kidding right? :P  In all honesty this isnt something we can do on our own.  We need to seek the Lord God above for the strength and courage to jump out of our natural responses and find our security in Him and not in our boyfriend or even other friends in our lives. Maybe flickle will just ryhm with tickle in all our minds.

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